Single Mothering Like A Boss
Self accountability, why you should build it
I often joke that I shouldn’t be left unsupervised. Sometimes I don’t really mean it as a joke. I’m known to be a loose cannon. Being the only adult in the house means that mostly I’m only accountable to myself. Pouring that next glass of wine, ordering takeaway…again, watching four hours of Netflix instead of reading that book you’ve really wanted to read or working on your business, not going to the gym as you’re too tired even though you know that you feel energised afterwards, going out for coffee/breakfast more times in the week than you’ve budgeted for, saying yes to everything in fear of missing out, knowing you’re cramming in too much. Shall I go on? I have billions of examples. All of this is of course completely fine, if it’s some of the time. When it becomes the norm, well you have to ask yourself (I do often), ‘am I doing the things I want to do and say I’m going to do?’ and if not, ‘why not?’.
To be self accountable we need to be willing to be responsible for our actions. Crappy things that happen to us in life can make us spiral into feeling that we haven’t been treated fairly and not see the point in trying to thrive. ‘Nothing goes my way and it’s all too hard’. I’ve felt like this many times. ‘How can I be expected to be healthy and happy and personally growing when I’m on my own with two kids full time while having to work, oh, and losing the love of my life’. Again, it’s normal and ok to feel this way some of the time, but if these feelings are the norm, it’s just not productive. We choose how to spend our time and these feelings don’t work for us.
These actions, or inactions, can be avoidance. Avoidance of doing something outside your comfort zone. Avoidance of feeling lonely. They can also be a reflection of how you think of and feel about yourself. How you feel if you don’t stick to your word or plan or your lack of confidence in thinking you can follow through. We have to have our own back before anyone else will and believe we deserve to set the goals we want and that we will achieve them.
Have you got goals?
Have you determined what you need to do to achieve those goals?
Do you do them?
What stands in the way of you doing them?
When I feel myself wavering off the path I know I want to be on, I ask myself these questions, to get back on track. Sometimes they don’t work and I really don’t care, we all have those moments. However, most of the time I see what I need to change, and I’m the only one who is responsible for doing that. Adulting on your own is hard, however, if you support yourself you really can do anything. Heck, you’re already raising kids, working, running a business (insert here), so go you!
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I’m Lou Lou
Hi there gals. I’m Lou Lou and five years ago I lost my best friend, the love of my life, the father of my children and my stability when my husband died very suddenly and my world was completely torn apart. I literally had absolutely no idea how I would move forward and honestly didn’t think I would. I wanted to fast forward my life to a minimum of ten years on.
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